Dog’s Bollocks

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‘So how exactly was it left?’

I sigh. ‘Well… that’s why I’m fucked off!’

‘Or not, as the case may be…’

This is my mother on the line.

‘Yeah, well, quite.’

I bring her up-to-date.

‘… so it’s been… three days since I last heard from him.’

Silence.

‘I hope he does get in touch because… we did get on really well.’

‘Is he the kind of guy who gets on well with everyone?’

She is so annoying.  I delay answering.

‘Yeah, well… yes.’

‘I hate to say it…’

Isn’t your mother supposed to think you’re the dog’s bollocks or something?

‘I know, I know.  It’s like what you said just after I’d met him.’

‘What did I say?’

‘You said, “Is he cool, charming, gorgeous and funny?”  I don’t think you needed to say anything else!’

We laugh.

‘I hate to say it, but I think you’d better move on.’


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