It’s with mixed feelings that I ride the lift up to the fifth floor. Aside from the odd slip – queuing for returns for a play that I hoped would give me greater insight into Tristan’s medical history, and talking wistfully of him to my long-suffering friend and hostess (‘it’s… it’s like we can read each other’s minds!’) – aside from the odd slip, the past week has been delightfully free of unrequited longing. I even spent an evening in the company of a man who was both nice and – brace yourself – single and who I’d like to see again, though the jury’s out on whether he feels the same way.
Approaching the glass, pass in hand, I feel a little thrill of joy. Up there are two men who make my heart sing – and a job that makes my stomach drop.
The lift doors open onto the fifth floor. I put my pass to the scanner. The thrill has faded into nothingness. I keep my gaze dead ahead.
I look round and there he is, making the silly gesturing movements I have come to love so much.
‘How was your holiday?’
‘Good,’ I say, grinning.
‘Oh of course, you went to Edinburgh.’
Yes. Where he’s just been himself. Has he really only just remembered this fact?
‘What did you see?’ he says.
‘Some of the things you did, probably.’
‘Did you manage to see–?’
‘Overrated.’ We laugh. ‘I still don’t know which show you’re talking about!’
‘Overrated could apply to lots of the things I saw.’ He frowns. ‘I had quite a lean Fringe.’
‘Yeah I know what you mean. I only saw one thing which I thought–.’
Tobias appears round the corner. ‘Welcome back! Did you go to Vienna?’
Right now I feel like I’ve gone to heaven.