Invitation Only

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CC Image courtesy of barockschloss on FlickrSeveral months back, I decided I would celebrate my birthday on a scale which meant I could justify inviting Matthew.  Then, around the time that FFS first appeared on the scene, I realised this was a silly idea.  So it’s kind of fitting that FFS going MIA should be in part responsible for what happens next.

‘Hello Matthew,’ I begin, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to drop him a line after not having seen him for, what, four months?  ‘How are you?’

I go on to issue the invitation.  It will seem random, that’s for sure, but I’m past caring.  FFS has brought me to a real low point, and what I need now is a hit of happiness.  A self-help book would probably advise me to go out dancing with my girlfriends (does anyone actually have girlfriends who ‘go out dancing’?), or take up a new hobby (note to self: start running again).  What it probably wouldn’t advise is contacting a long-standing crush, who has a girlfriend, and inviting him to your birthday dinner, to which the guy you are/were/might-be-but-who-the-fuck-knows? seeing, is also invited.  But it’s fine.  I’m not looking to be seduced, only distracted.  I hit send on my message and dash off to tango (I’m doing the hobby thing too, so it’s even more fine).


Holding my towel in place with one hand, I straighten the duvet with the other.  That’s when I see it, flashing white, my phone, just visible between the folds of fabric.  I swipe the screen.

‘Hello Anna…’

I feel a jolt in the pit of my stomach.


CC Image courtesy of Simon Greig Photo on Flickr

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