Google ‘how to stop obsessing over a guy’ on my laptop, and you’ll be met by a wall of red. Frustratingly, I keep getting the same answer: something about being happy with, and confident in, your life as a single person. Looking for a man shouldn’t be your priority, Google tells me. Bit rich coming from a search engine.
Another piece of dating advice I frequently stumble upon is know what you want in a man. Until recently, I’ve been fairly clueless on this front. (Male and… male?) But then a couple of things happened.
‘So do you know Joe Buckley?’ I say.
She frowns. ‘No, I mean, I know of him, but no, I don’t know him well.’
‘And… Tom Randall?’
Her face softens. ‘Aaaw yes, he’s so lovely.’
The praise keeps coming. I tell her about Joe and I.
‘It’s annoying because the night I met Joe, I also met Tom, and, well, I can’t help feeling Tom’s the better man!’
The kind of man I’d be looking for – funny, kind, passionate, artistic – were I not happy in my life as a single person.
She nods, smiling. ‘He is a really decent guy.’
She promises to introduce us at some point.
Then at a party a few weeks later, I bump into Very Pretty Girl, and she gives me the lowdown on Nick. He’s calm, she tells me, gentle, romantic yet down-to-earth, has beautiful manners and a terrific sense of humour. Oh and he’s writing a book. Correction, a publisher has asked him to write a book. So there you have it: what I’m looking for in a man. Or would be, were I not happy etc etc.