With Compliments

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A couple had me round for dinner the other night (it’s not what you think).  Conversation turned to the art of giving compliments, some of the boyfriend’s recent offerings having failed to impress:

‘You look fit.’  Just no.

‘Strong dress.’  Huh?  And it’s a skirt.

‘You look the way Minnie Mouse looks to a normal mouse.’  Weirdly touching, emphasis on weird.

I ran a mental search of the ex-files.

‘I like your dress.’  Fine, though I’d rather you liked me in it…or out of it.  Shortly followed by ‘I like your scarf’ and ‘I like your boots’.  The man asked for a face mask for Christmas.

‘You look like a poster girl – woahhhhh – from the 1940s.’  And that makes it OK, does it?  Yeah, guess it does.

‘You have a beautiful mind, beautiful body and beautiful spirit.’  And a beautiful thesaurus.  You can borrow it sometime.


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